At Bible study that week, Tommy and Kate noticed right away that I wasn’t saying much. They pulled me aside when it was over, asking if there was anything I wanted them to pray about.
The truth was, I didn’t know what I was feeling. Ever since the fashion show, I was feeling empty. It was a great success, and the Sugar and Spice campaign was garnering a lot of publicity, especially with Jimmy tweeting every two minutes about it. But ever since I spoke with Fabiana, it all seemed so meaningless. “I feel useless,” I confessed to Kate and Tommy.
This did not go over well. They both looked incredulous and outraged. “Useless?” Kate sputtered. “Your job is going well, there’s a new man in your life…how can you feel useless?”
“Athletes Against Exploitation did such good, and now you’re raising the profile of young girls in education. I wouldn’t see that as useless!” Tommy said.
“You’ve hit the nail on the head right there,” I told him. “Athletes Against Exploitation did such good. I don’t feel we’ve accomplished anything with Sugar and Spice and Everything Smart except launch some fashion designers.”
“Isn’t that good?” Kate asked.
“I would prefer it if we promoting a scientist who came up with a cure for some disease…”
Tommy sighed. “Lisa you need to step back and look at things. You did a lot of good things these past few months, but you need to have patience. Good things will happen with your work. Show some gratitude – I’ve never seen so many positive changes in one person’s life in such a relatively short period of time. You have a new role at work, you have some great new friends and don’t forget your jaw pains went away! Lisa, I am grateful for the change your campaign has made in my colleague’s attitude towards women…maybe you need to give us all time to change our ideas about women.”
It had been so long since I felt any twinges in my jaw that I completely forgot about the pain of TMJ. I put a hand to my cheek, thinking about what Tommy had said. “I just don’t feel like I’m doing something relevant, like I was with Athletes Against Exploitation.”
Kate sighed. “Lisa, you are. Our science department got a grant off the Department of Education to renovate our laboratory. I don’t think that would have happened without the Sugar and Spice Campaign raising awareness on the gender gap in science.”
Kate hadn’t told me that when we were talking during the week. I opened my mouth in surprise, and noticed that it didn’t hurt like it used to. Was it only a few months ago that I was in the dentist’s chair, contemplating bite plates?
“I guess you’re right,” I said to my friends. Seeing the looks on their faces, I laughed. “I mean, I know you’re right. Good things have happened. Kate’s school getting funding is amazing, and we’re not even done with the campaign yet. I’m being impatient…no, wait, I’m being blind. Thanks, guys!” I threw my arms around them, but a tiny part of me still felt empty. I kept thinking how Fabiana was spreading the word back in Brazil, hoping to get young men there to see that using women as sex objects was wrong. Every time I talked with Fabiana, I felt energised and motivated. Even when the first people she showed our posters to weren’t interested, saying that their own campaigns were enough, I encouraged her to keep trying. Sure enough, she found a soccer coach who was more than happy to get involved. He contacted a former player who became a politician, who wants to create a Portuguese language version of our posters. I spent more time this week hunting down the photographers and copywriters who did our posters to get their consent to share their layout and format than I did writing press releases for the science fair. If Sheila knew (and was still my boss), she would kill me.
After I let my friends go and Tommy headed for the door, Kate pulled me aside. “I can’t believe you’re feeling totally empty…how are things going with Tony?” I had to blush – it certainly was exciting to finally have a boyfriend again. Kate noticed my red cheeks and we both giggled like schoolgirls.
Thank you, Lord, I prayed as I hugged Kate goodbye. Thank you for all you have done.