I went round to Cara and Niamh’s flat for dinner; it was a good way for me to check on Cara and see how Niamh was doing. All Niamh wanted to talk about was Tenneh Dumbuya – she couldn’t get her story off her mind.
“I can’t imagine what she’s been through…and at such a young age!” We were cooking a big pot of spaghetti in the kitchen, and Niamh had to put the spoon she was stirring the pasta with down to wipe at her eyes. I was already crying from the onions I was shopping into the sauce. Cara was mixing a salad at the table, and wasn’t saying anything.
“To be able to forgive the men who killed her family and raped her…” Niamh was saying. I saw Cara hunch her shoulders over the salad bowl. I put the knife down and went to my sister.
“Cara?” I asked in a low voice.
She knew what I was thinking and rolled her eyes. “No, I wasn’t raped. I was just irresponsible, okay!” Niamh turned around to watch us. Cara sighed. “You don’t have to be a rape victim to be affected by a story like that.”
“Tenneh Dumbuya is an amazing person,” Niamh said.
“She is,” Cara agreed.
“Were you listening to the show?” I asked Cara.
“Of course I was. I also taped the TV show the two of you were on.” Her cheeks turned bright red and she looked down at the salad. “We’re still sisters, no matter what I’ve done.”
It was like she had punched both of us in the gut. “You know I’m not holding it against you,” I told her softly.
Cara wiped her eyes on her sleeve. “It’s like being raped, I guess. It becomes part of your identity. Tenneh Dumbuya is a rape victim, and I’m a woman who had an abortion.”
Niamh inhaled a sharp breath, and I shook my head. “Tenneh is not a victim. You are not your past, Cara.” I gestured to myself. “Am I always going to be the woman whose boyfriend left her?”
Cara busied herself with the salad she was making. “I’d like to think that we can move beyond our past.”
“Forgiveness,” I said. I reached out to my sister, my heart breaking when I saw her wince. “You have to forgive yourself, Cara.”
She buried her face in her hands. “I killed my baby!” she wept. I put my arms around her.
“Did you take your medication today?” Niamh asked sternly, coming over to stand next to us. I could feel Cara nod against me. Niamh indicated the calendar on the wall. “Your next counselling session in on Thursday…should I reschedule it sooner?”
I felt Niamh was being overbearing, and Cara glared at her. “I can make it through two days,” she told Niamh.
“We’re just worried about you,” I said gently.
“Well, don’t. I have to come to terms with what I’ve done. I have to forgive myself, like Lisa says…like my counsellor says.” She took a deep breath and attempted a big smile. “It will get better.”
Niamh nodded, smiling genuinely. “It does get better…just look at Tenneh. You’d think anyone would just want to curl into a ball and die after what she went through, but she’s got her chin up.” Niamh looked at me and went back to the stove. “I used to think Lisa and Kate were confident, but Tenneh is just amazing. I mean, she can inspire anybody. I think we should send her into every rape crisis centre to let those people know you can survive. Hey, I think we should send her into every rape trial, and let those criminals know they haven’t destroyed their victims. That they don’t have victims…those women can be just as strong as Tenneh!” She covered the pot of pasta with a clang.
“Are you going to burn your bra now?” Cara asked sarcastically.
Niamh’s look of triumph vanished.
“Hey, be nice!” I admonished. “Niamh has a point. Tenneh is inspiring, and brings hope to all of us. I hate every minute I ever felt sorry for myself after Peter and I broke up. It hurt to have my hopes and dreams dashed, but that was nothing compared to what Tenneh went through. And Tenneh is not the only one who went through something like that. You don’t see her having a pity party or giving up. She’s living proof that you can survive.”
Cara didn’t have any clever retort to that. She continued making the salad, and I went back to the sauce.
“Do you think I could meet her?” Niamh asked.
“Tenneh? Sure.” I pictured us all having dinner at my place, but figured it would be too small. Now that I had been promoted and she was a television presenter, we should all meet in a posh restaurant. I realised I hadn’t told Niamh and Cara about the changes at work. “Hey, did I tell ye that we have a new department for good works at McGrath-Roth?”
Lunch had gone well; Theresa and Jimmy were on board. I didn’t think much of the name we came up with for the new campaign, but we were already charging ahead with it. Sugar and Spice and Everything Smart –that’s what we were saying girls were made of. Sheila had gotten a tentative yes from a major international cosmetics brand, and they loved the name. Eileen was happy that we already had another project going, with sponsors lined up.
Both Cara and Niamh were impressed by my progress at work. Niamh was delighted that I would be able to concentrate on doing good, and Cara was amazed that we had already started a new campaign. We sat down to eat amid their congratulations, and I had to admit that I wasn’t ready to move on.
“I kind of feel superficial,” I confessed. “I feel like I’m abandoning the anti-sex-trafficking campaign.”
Cara shrugged. “After all the games are played and parties had, what else is left in the campaign?” she asked. “Think of it in terms of phases. In a few months’ time, you can do a phase two…maybe do something more international.”
I sighed. “I felt like an abolitionist. The abolitionists only stopped once slavery had been outlawed!”
Niamh looked at me sceptically. “I’m sure that’s not true. Wasn’t there a period of reparations or something in America after the Civil War? You know, land redistribution - forty acres and a mule? Someone had to organise and run that.”
“And it wasn’t all plain sailing. There were people who fought against the idea that freed slaves were people. Think of the Ku Klux Klan,” Cara pointed out.
“You sound like Kate. She said to me today that as long as there is evil in the world, there has to be good to fight it.” I felt sheepish and short-sighted.
“Well, she’s right. Rome wasn’t built in a day,” Niamh said, echoing Sheila’s sentiments.
Cara looked thoughtful. “It took Jesus three days to rise from the dead.”
There was a silence, as both Niamh and I looked at her. I’ll admit that I was checking to see if she was being sarcastic, but her expression stayed open and relaxed.
“I’m just saying, think of what you believe. You say He came to earth to pay for all our sins. It took God three days to do that…why are you expecting to achieve smaller things more quickly?”
I gaped at her, and finally she rolled her eyes.
“Don’t get excited. I’m not saying I’m a believer. I’m just reminding you what you believe, and how maybe you’re being too hard on yourself.” My dear sister smiled at me, and I looked at Niamh. I had seen God perform a miracle in her life; maybe I was witnessing the start of His work in Cara’s life.
“I said, don’t get excited,” Cara repeated. She gave Niamh and me sharp looks, but we were too busy smiling to care.